Day Five of the Journey

Actually calling this day five is like saying that Liz Taylor is just getting married for the first time. I've been here numerous times. The beginning of a diet. Oh can anything be so exciting and so terrifying at the same time. I'm excited that I have the opportunity to try again. Terrified that I have the opportunity to try again. Excited because I might actually do this. Terrified that I might fail again. It still amazes me that dieting can take up so much emotional space in my life.
I am doing Weight Watchers again. Or rather still. For the last TWO YEARS I have gained and lost the same few pounds, the only progress I can claim is that I haven't gained my usual 10lbs a year. And, yes, I do consider that progress. I have dutifully paid my monthly $39 to WW and sat in meetings and tried to convince myself that not only did I want to do this but that I really could do this. My amazing leader, Mandie, is who really kept me going. She's is both fluffy and deep. Good things just bubble out of Mandie and give you a little touch of energy and encouragement. Then she opens her mouth and something she says hits you as serious truth. You want to catch both the bubbles and the truth. Even after all the yo yo-ing at Mandies scale, I never ever got disappointment from Mandie. Always love and encouragement.
Mandie has had to give up her full time work for WW so I have started with a new leader. I have only been to two of Sandi's meetings but I can tell already that she's a combination of teacher and cheerleader. I'm looking forward to gleaning wisdom from her and hopefully catching her enthusiasm.
Deep breath. So, here I go again.